A

• Acid Trip
• Affect Abnormal Fires
• Affect Normal Foyers
• Air Breathing (land-dwellers only)
• Airshape (like Stoneshape, but with normal air)
• Airy Air
• Alamir's Freeway Breakdown
• Alamir's Fundamental Theorem
• Algorithm I-III
• Anger God
• Animate Bread
• Anti-Anti-Magic Shell (Pro-Magic Shell?)
• Anti-Magic Eggshell
• Anti-Magic Magic Missle
• Anti-Magic Magic Mouth
• Antipathy Orb
• Audible Hammer (of the M.C. variety)
• Auditable Glamour
• Augmented Chord 1,2,3,4,5,6

  B

• Bad Lighting
• Badly Programmed Illusion
• Become Dead (reverse of Resurrect Self)
• Bigby's Assertive Finger
• Bigby's Clenched Teeth
• Bigby's Critically Fumbling Hand
• Bigby's Glove (colors the various Bigby's Hand spells, no bonus)
• Bigby's Groping Hand
• Bigby's Hairy-Palmed Hand
• Bigby's Insulting Hand (the second finger is rather prominent)
• Bigby's Limp-Wristed Hand
• Bigby's Shadow-Animal Making Hands
• Bigby's "Shush"ing Hand
• Black & White Spray
• Blind Self
• Bold Monster
• Bookworm Blast
• Break-Wind Wall
• Break the Wind
• Bubbling Rainstorm
• Burning Hands (Yours, ouch)

  C

• Can Trip (And does!)
• Change Elf
• Charm Dead
• Charm Friends
• Charm Groupie
• Charm Potted Plants
• Charm Self
• Charm Undead (X rated version)
• Cheeseball
• Circling the Square (i.e. Times, Trafalger, Tiannemen)
• Clause of the Lawyer
• Clear Audience (usually follows Delayed Blast Flatulence)
• Clone Undead
• Clown
• Color Safe Spray
• Compulsive Disorder
• Cone of Bubbles
• Conjure Emmenthaler
• Contact This Plane
• Continual Bad Lighting
• Continual Right (a political spell)
• Control Casting Time (controls the casting time of this spell only)
• Control Feather
• Copyright Shroud
• Crass Suggestion
• Create Coat Hanger
• Cure Animal Hide
• Cure Light Winds
• Cure Smoked Ham
• Cure STD
• Current Life
• Cylons, 10' Radius
• Cymbal

  D

• Dalamar's Whoopee Cushion (things that make you go hmmmm)
• Darkness, 15 micron radius
• Daylight (material components: must be cast outdoors in bright sunlight)
• Deathwish
• Deeppocket Lint
• Delayed Blast Cantrip
• Delayed Blast Flatulence
• Delayed Blast Spitball
• Demand Blindness
• Demi-Shadow Puppets
• Deny Reality
• Detect Crying
• Detect Dead (Yep, he's dead alright...)
• Detect Detect Spells
• Detect Hound
• Detect Lightning Bolts (area: 5')
• Detect Pervert
• Detect Pink Bunny Rabbits
• Detect Self (allows you to see if you are yourself)
• Detect Strikes and Spares
• Detect Tragic (oooh, theres a sad happening over there!)
• Detect Unseen Butler
• Detect Visibility (Yep, I can see that)
• Detect Weevil
• Detect Wind
• Differentiate Without Error (Hey, you never know...)
• Dimension Doorknob
• Dispell Nonmagical Reptiles & Amphibians
• Dispurse Self
• Drain Vaccuum
• Draw Upon Religious Right
• Drawmij's Court Summons
• Drawmij's Instant Cake Mix
• Drawmij's Instant Coffee (components: hot water and cup)
• Drawmij's Instant Death (Drawmij's CON must be about -30 by now...)

  E

• Earthly Chorus
• Enchanted Toothpick
• Enlightening Bolt
• Enrage Dragon
• ESPN
• Ethertalk
• Evard's Black Growth (range: 0)
• Evard's Black Testicles
• Evard's Blue Testicles
• Explosive Familiar (it's *your* familiar)
• Explosive Friends
• Extension Cord I, II, and III
• Extinguish Match (casting time: 5 rounds)

  F

• Face Grasp
• Fear of Sunmotes
• Feather Brain
• Feather Flail
• Feign Life (as if the caster has one)
• Feign Orgasm
• Find Acquaintance
• Find Floor (somatic component: falling on face)
• Find Hand
• Finger of Near-Fatal Injury
• Finger of Plead
• Fire Alarm
• Fire Rap
• Fire Stick
• Fireball (reversed)
• Fiscal Projection
• Fist of Flesh
• Fleshskin (range: self)
• Fool's Lead
• Foresee Unseen Butler
• Forget Spells (area: self)
• Forehead
• Foreskin
• Fourier's Transformation
• Furball
• Furry Fire

  G

• Gaze at Reflection
• Geese
• Get Flu
• Get Life
• Glassteal (swipe that beermug from that unsuspecting peasant)
• Globe of Vulnerability
• Grate
• Graze reflection (if someone hurts your knee)
• Guess Alignment

  H

• Hair Extension I, II, III
• Hallucinatory Escape
• Hallucinatory Train
• Hand of Skin
• Hatch Egg (somatic component: sit on egg)
• Heal Monster (only works on opponents during combat)
• Heel
• Hold Bladder
• Hold Mustard
• Hold Self
• Hornung's Gas
• Hornung's Police Dispatcher
• Housefly
• Hug Self

  I

• Illusion Debugger (for Badly Programmed Illusions)
• Illusionary Crypt
• Iggy's Invisible Illusion
• Illegal Thoughts (That serving wench looks older than 18)
• Implosive Runes
• Impress Plants
• Improper Suggestion
• Indirection (address register postincrement)
• Indivisibility (The caster is a prime number)
• Insect Plague, 5' Radius
• Integrate (reversible, Differentiate)
• Invisibility to Inanimate Objects
• Invisibility to Dead
• Invisible Talker
• Irritate Self

  K

• Kender Summoning I, II, III
• Kitchen Sink
• Knock Knock
• Know Own Alignment
• Know Person (in the biblical sense of the word...)
• Kooshball

  L

• Legend Bore
• Legend Lore, Extended Dance Mix
• Leomund's Condemned Shelter
• Leomund's Grass Hut
• Leomund's Mortgaged Shelter
• Leomund's Risky Tax Shelter
• Leomund's Secure Chest Cavity
• Leomund's Sturdy Music Box
• Leomund's Tap
• Leomund's Underfunded Homeless Shelter
• Level Water
• Lightning Blot
• Limited Dish (Sorry sir, the Dover Sole is off)
• Limited Wash
• Locate Right Hand
• Locate Self (tells you where you are, relative to your location)
• Locate Tongue (requires verbal component)
• Locate Wizard (the _nearest_ wizard)
• Lorloveim's Shady Deal
• Lose Familiar (Get lost, ya wee booger!)
• Lower Cholesterol Level
• Lower Inhibitions

  M

• Maggot Missle
• Magic Boomeranging Missile
• Magic Gristle
• Magic Jar-Jar
• Magic Missal (A really boring prayersheet)
• Magic Moth
• Magic Orifice
• Magic Shotglass (as opposed to Magic Jar)
• Mail of the Banshee (victim gets letter saying "Waaaaaahh...")
• Maize
• Matrix Addition
• Mauve Earth
• Meld, Canasta Version
• Melf's Acid Bow
• Melf's Acid Trip
• Melf's Minute Rice
• Melodramatic Phantom Defenders
• Memorize Spell
• Meteor Swan
• Micrometeorite Storm
• Mildly Surprising Grasp
• Minor Delousing
• Mistaken Identify
• Mistaken Thought (Gee, guys, it _looked_ like a Gas Spore)
• Moaning Spirit
• Mordenkainen's Agnostic Hound
• Mordenkainen's Aroused Hound (can't get it off of the nearest leg)
• Mordenkainen's Big Ears (+1 to all hearing checks, ear size quadrupled)
• Mordenkainen's Bored Cat
• Mordenkainen's Celery
• Mordenkainen's Conjunction (Conjunction Junction, what's your function?)
• Mordenkainen's Faithful Mosquito
• Mordenkainen's Freeway Junction
• Mordenkainen's Lubrication
• Mordenkainen's Sword, -1 Backbiter
• Mordenkainen's Unfaithful Wife
• Move Venus
• Muenster Summoning I-VII
• Murder Darkness
• Murdoch's Featherless Fryer (Verbal component: "Butterball")
• Murdock's Feathery Pillow

  N

• Nahal's Banana Peel (appears under random ally's foot)
• No Time
• No Vacancy
• Nystul's Undetectible Aura

  O

• Otiluke's Happy Fun Sphere
• Otiluke's Resilient Ear
• Otiluke's Room Temperature Sphere
• Otto's Irresistible Disco-Duck
• Otto's Resistable Dance

  P

• Paraphrase Magic
• Part Hair
• Pastel Blade of Warm Fuzzies (9th level Drow spell)
• Penultimate Fall
• Phantasmal Fork
• Phantasmal Morse
• Phantasmal Thriller
• Plane XOR
• Polymorph Mother
• Power Word Missing
• Power Word, NO!
• Power Word, Noogie
• Power Word, Puke
• Power Word, Pun
• Power Word, Smirk
• Power Word, Spam
• Power Word, Wedgie
• Protection from Catnips
• Protection from Elvis, 10' Radius
• Protection from Evil Knievel
• Protection from Halitosis
• Protection from Normal Air
• Protection from Normal Missals
• Protection from Normal Oxygen
• Protection from Normal Pillows
• Protection from Self
• Protection from Weevil
• Psychoanalyze Without Error (Zo, ven dit you shtop lofink your mutter?)
• Purge Memory
• Putrefy Offal

  R

• Rainbow Enhancer
• Random Casualty
• Rary's Mnemonic Cancer (eats away at those favorite spells)
• Rary's Mnemonic Device (makes silly acronyms out of things)
• Rary's Pneumonic Cough (range: self)
• Read Common
• Rectum of Retention
• Reincarnation Door
• Remove Hand (yours)
• Remove Minus Sign (reversible)
• Remove Nurse ("Good-Byyyeeee Nurse!")
• Remove Reality
• Remove Self
• Remove Strong Language
• Reservation
• Rest Erection
• Resurrect Living
• Resurrect Self (problem: must be alive to cast the spell)
• Reverse Graffiti
• Rice Storm
• Rock Summoning I

  S

• Sepia Cake Sigil
• Serten's Smell Immunity
• Sheepskin
• Shocking Gasp (usually follows Tenser's Shocking Suggestion)
• Silence of the Lambs, 15' radius
• Sleep with Dead (yuck... unless you're a real Necromancer)
• SmorgasMorph
• Soap-on-a-Rope Trick
• Solid Frog
• Speak With Boring Monsters
• Speak With Dead Plants
• Speak With Grateful Dead
• Speak With Living (components: two tin cans and a string)
• Speak With Mud
• Speak With Self
• Sucker (for those of you who actually cast the spell)
• Summon Allergy
• Summon Death (Death arrives and kills the caster)
• Summon Self
• Swift Envelope

  T

• Tape Mount
• Tasha's Controllable Mildly Unpleasant Laughter
• Tasha's Uncontrollable Bladder
• Tasha's Uncontrollable Hideous Die Rolls
• Tasha's Uncontrollable Hideous Flatulence
• Tasha's Uncontrollable Hideous Gesture
• Tasha's Uncontrollable Hideous Hand
• Tax Avoidance
• Taunt a Second Time
• Teleport Environment
• Teleport With Lots of Errors
• Teleport Without Destination
• Teleport Without Terror
• Tenser's Double-Sided, Double Density Disk
• Tenser's Floating Point
• Tenser's Formatted Disk
• Tenser's Gloating Disk
• Tenser's Shocking Suggestion (you want to WHAT??!)
• Tenser's Slipped Disk
• Tenser's Deadly Resurrection
• Tensor Transformations
• This Space for Rent (fills up space on a scroll or in a mage's memory)
• Time Start
• Tonguetwister Change
• Tons
• Transmute Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust (priest spell)
• Transmute Friends to Enemies
• Transmute Head to Butt
• Transmute RGB to HSV
• Transmute Rock to Stone (reversible)
• Transmute Rock to Jazz
• Trap the Sole (see Limited Dish)
• Turn Friends Into Enemies
• Turn Pebble (rotation, not banishment)

  U

• Undefined Symbol
• Unenlightening Bolt
• Unheard Servant
• Unscented Cloud
• Unseen Manservant
• Unseen Pervert
• Unseen Sympathy

  V

• Vampiric Breathing (perfect for harassing phone calls)
• Vampiric Crutch
• Varnish
• Visible Stalker

  W

• Walk
• Wall of Dog
• Wall of Horse
• Wall of Non-Dairy Creamer
• Wall of Normal Air
• Wall of Paper
• Wall of Velcro
• Waste
• Wink
• Wizard Eyebrow
• Wizard Lick
• Wizard Nostril
• Wizard Stain

  Y

• You Wish!

  Z

• ZX-Spectral Force

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